“Doo Doo Dee Doo, singing my little song… aaaaand pull this strap. THERE! I’m done. Finally! It looks GREAT! I finally got my own HOT TUB!”
“Hey Charlie, whatcha’ doin?”
“Just putting the finishing touches on my hot tub! See you at poker tonight, Paulie.”
“Sure Charlie, uhmmm… sure.”
“Later! Now back to this… OH NO! I know what I’m missing, a cover. I’m going to lose all my heat when the cold weather sets in. I gotta call RealTruck. They are offering up to 20% OFF and FREE Shippingon what I need.”
….
“Thank you for calling RealTruck, how may I help you today?”
“Hi there! I need a cover for my hot tub.”
“….”
“I just built it and realized that I’m going to lose all the heat when the cold sets in and we can’t have that. Do you have one of those Flip kinds… you know… Bak whatever?”
I’d like to propose a toast to Xtreme Floor Mats, would you all raise your glasses with me?
Whenever I’ve walked through six inches of mud then proceeded to get into the truck, you’ve been there.
Whenever I’ve decided that it was a good idea to eat tacos while driving, you’ve been there.
Whenever I’ve drank too much mocha and talked excitedly with my hands while parked at the bank teller line, you’ve been there.
Whenever I’ve stepped in some dog’s business (even though people are supposed to pick up after their pets), you’ve been there.
Whenever I’ve gone Jello wrestling for charity and forgotten my towel, you’ve been there.
Whenever I’ve gone hunting in swamps for the elusive orchid flower, you’ve been there.
Whenever I’ve decided to do the Mentos and cola trick and forgotten to take the entire experiment out of the truck first, you’ve been there.
There’s so much more I could say, so many stories I could tell for everyone. Some are completely embarrassing. Like, remember the time we were in the truck, Xtreme Floor Mats? I had just ordered you from RealTruck for an additional 10% OFF and FREE Shipping. We drove down to the beach and I decided to take some sand home? That was the best!
So, I drink my sparkling cider to you, Xtreme Floor Mats. I’m keeping it non-alcoholic because I plan on taking the truck to Maine for some live lobsters.
“This is Ridiculous Rick and you’re listening to the flashback hour on 103.4, THE BUZZ! We’re taking all your requests, all day long. You just heard another classic rock hit by Twisted Sister. Coming up this hour, we’ll have more 80’s hair bands to sooth your inner glam beast.
“Right now, though, we’re going to take a caller from the request line. Hello caller, what do you want to hear?”
“Yeah! Hey, Rick! Love the program!”
“Rock on! Thanks for calling. What can I play for you today?”
“Actually I’m hoping you can help me out. I’m trying to find some rocker panels.”
“Sorry?”
“You know… rocker panels for my truck. I called you, Rick because you’re the foremost expert on rockers. I told myself, if anyone knows anything about rockers of any sort it’s Ridiculous Rick.”
“Right… well. I’m going to step out of the roll of Ridiculous Rick from the 80’s for a moment and clue you in on a little invention called the Internet, caller.”
“Huh?”
“Yeah… the Internet. I suggest going to RealTruck.com. There you’ll find rocker panels from for your truck or suv from Dee Zee, Putco, CRE and Go Industries. Get this! FREE Shipping in the continental US!”
“Karen?” He dragged his toe across the ground and looked around nervously.
“Yes, Frank?” She was nervous too. Knowing this was a special night, their anniversary, she was prepared for any sort of surprise. They had been dating for 10 years now and it was about time for him to take it a step further.
“I’m real nervous, but I’m about to tell you something important.”
“Go on, Frank.” She breathed. Her heart was in her throat. She had been waiting a long time for this. What she really wanted to do was jump up and down, but she found a calm spot inside herself and her feet remained on the surface.
“I want to give you a ring…”
“Oh! FRANK!”
“Well, several actually.”
“Frank? I don’t understand.”
Frank took her hand and pulled her over to his truck and pointed out the truck bed. “I want you to have my Bull Ring Retractable Tie Downs. I’m going to upgrade to a new set. I am fully aware you don’t have a set of your own, so… well… Baby… I want you to have mine.”
Karen felt a well of emotion swell up in her and unable to contain herself she launched into his arms!
“Oh! FRANK! I’m so happy! I thought you were going to do something stupid like get down on one knee and ask me to marry you.”
Rubbing the back of his neck and looking relieved, Frank smiled, “Shucks, Karen. Engagement rings aren’t rated to 1000 pounds. Or are they?”
RealTruck has just sent their pitch to Hollywood for our first ever fully produced live action movie starring a truck. It’s called STAR SHIELD!
*pause for dramatic effect*
I can tell you’re as excited as I am by this.
Here’s the synopsis:
A truck, accidentally launched into space by NASA when it becomes entangled into a large kite and hung up on a rocket, becomes lost in space. Because all trucks have on-board sentient brains in the future, (oh did I mention… this is in the future) the truck attaches the leftover rocket boosters to his chassis and zooms around space fighting evil.
This is where the plot gets a little hazy because there really isn’t anyone else like STAR SHIELD. He’s pretty much the only truck in space. He does, however, run into some space babes who are into trucks. SCORE!
I’ve had to rewrite it a few times because I kept forgetting things like:
No humans or aliens who breath air can ride around in the truck bed during space flight because, duh… no air.
No driving around space with the windows down because, duh… no air.
No hot rocking bass heard for light years away because, duh… no sound travels in space. An actual rocket scientist told me that one.
No burn outs in space because, duh… I think you get the picture.
We’re hoping George Lucas bites on this one. He did such a good job with that Star Wars dealy he was working on. Not so much with that Jar Jar fella, but I have confidence he wouldn’t do anything like that to lovable old STAR SHIELD!
Keep your eyes on the coming attractions. We hope to see you at the movies in 2012!
Did you receive enough snow this weekend to build a snow fort? We tend to get a little extreme at our place and haul in extra snow for ours. It’s sort of a tradition.
Don’t get me wrong, we’re not in a contest with anyone. We just want to have the best snow fort in town. Truly, just the best 30 foot tall snow fort with accompanying snow moat and snow maze in town.
We’ve been minding our own business, using our own tools of the trade, like theSnowBear BB100 Snow Plow to help clear our paths when it snows. It also helps build our piles and shore our fortress.
However, just yesterday I received a letter from the city council complaining about how my snow fort is a “death trap.”
I was SHOCKED! I mean really, I’m not an architect, but I don’t get how a never ending maze of snow and ice walls build 13 feet high meant to ensure enemies don’t escape can be considered a “death trap.” For cryin’ out loud! I made this for my kids
It isn’t my fault Mrs. Percanski’s dog got lost in the maze. She should have gone in after it. Instead she stood at the edge of the moat yelling for her poodle like a crazy person. This is why we have leash laws Mrs. Percanski! Your dog could have bitten my kids. Luckily they were tucked away safe and sound in the 30 foot tower hurling ice missiles at any enemy combatants.
I owe it all to RealTruck, SnowBear and the $100 OFF and FREE Shipping* Special that is running right now. We never could have gotten it done with out the SnowBear BB100 Snow Plow and the Off Road Light Kit for working in the dark. The light kit also comes in handy for scanning the perimeter for non-friendlies like the postman, the meter reader and my Ex.
Go online at RealTruck today to get yours. Your kids will love you for it! Mine do! Now if I could just figure out how to get them down from the tower. I’ve been using a trebuchet to get food to them, but they’ve been missing a lot of school. The truancy officer has been by twice and he’s pretty brave and has made it closer to the moat than anyone so far.
*This Product Line has Free Shipping for Freight Shipping and lower shipping methods (Freight Shipping).
Product lines with Free Shipping can only be shipped to a continental United States shipping address. Orders to HI, AK, US Possessions, Canadian or Foreign orders do not qualify for this free shipping offer.
RealTruck.com is now offering the BakFlip G2 for the 2011 Toyota Tundra.
We are proud to announce that the BakFlip G2 for the 2011 Toyota Tundra is now available and shipping. The BakFlip G2 truck bed cover is designed to offer the top of the line security as well as full truck bed access. This truck bed cover can fold in seconds and locks into place allowing you to drive while truck bed cover is open. The unique design allows the BakFlip G2 to sit inside the truck bed rails offering a low profile design. These truck bed covers keep unwanted and unnecessary dangers from entering your truck bed.
Extremely low profile design.
Safely drive with panels open and locked into place.
Available and shipping for 2011 Toyota Tundra Regular Cab, Double Cab and Crewmax.
Husky pants at Sears were the bane of many young children’s existence, back in the day. It’s no wonder that some may have a slight issue with the name.
The name now brings forth feelings of peace, comfort, stability and general truck awesomeness. I mean, think about how clean and organized your ride becomes when you start adding all these items. I personally own the GearBox Systemand it is a MUST HAVE ITEM!
For those of us who have grown out of those horrible blue jeans, Husky no longer means scratchy waistbands, rolled up pant legs and the word HUSKY blazed on your butt for the world to see. I mean REALLY? Did we really have to spell it out right there on the pants?
Now-a-days the tag is on the inside… where it belongs… in the dark… where it can hide.
“Do you think that maybe, just MAYBE… listening to Baby Got Back in your truck until 4 AM was probably a bad idea, Percy?”
“I don’t see the harm in it, Thomas. It was such a beautiful night. There were hardly any mosquitoes and the stars were so sparkly. Almost like a teenage vampire… the way they glistened.”
“Percy, here we are… stuck in the middle of nowhere and we can’t move because you drained our battery DRY! AGAIN!”
“Well, don’t fret, Thomas. I packed the RoadPro 12 Volt Portable 5 in 1 Power System. It will start a low or dead battery. I figured that since this seems to happen so much that I’d better make a habit of being prepared.”
“What you need to make a habit of, Percy, is not listening to Sir Mix-a-Lot in the campground until the sun comes up.”
“I take offence to that, Thomas. Last campground it was Vanilla Ice… he’s to the extreme, you know.”
“Percy, I swear to…”
“And the campground before that it was Coolio. I have to say, I was really in the moment and it stayed with me because really? Haven’t we been spending most our lives living in a gangsta’s paradise?”
